Discussing this with Charlie, we have come to the conclusion that he may very well be a descendant of the original Welsh. Therefore we now present you with:
With our new found royal blood lines, Charlie and I will form a super couple (take THAT Brangelina). By decree of the royal couple our first act will be to exploit the people. We will control the ancient "Running of the Bulls" by places our enemies in the pits as the runners. We will have specially trained bulls designed to kill. Our national treasury will be funded by the royalties of the fallen; we'd like to think of this as a very generous donation.
Unfortunately we do understand that some work will be involved. We will hire an academic to write out our treaties. He or she should not demand payment for their services, because hanging out with us should be payment enough. If the chosen does decide to ask for payment, he or she will be charged with treason.
We shall make the people dance for us for entertainment as we shoot their feet with our flintlock pistols.
Regarding treaties, Charlie cannot go Henry the 8th on me. If he breaks the treaty, I have the power to seek revenge by doing the ever so popular "what goes around comes around." Any act of war declared upon each other will be conducted as so; a cat fight to the death...or to who's very tired...or horny (Charlie's idea). It shall be a no holds barred fight, weave pulling and all. Each fighter must remember to remove their earrings before entering the fight.
Our personal act of war would also be a great innovator for world peace. As countries around the world watch how we reconcile our differences, they too shall follow in our footsteps. Once they fall for the plan-BAM! Your country has officially been invaded.
We will place bombs under the seats of our enemies during meetings. Or we will have those large suction tubes that you see on the Simpsons, you just press a button and the enemy goes flying out to some Arab nation where they will be forced to dance.
While completing our treaties and/or making appearances, Charlie and Giselle shall have a personal panic room for escape purposes. Public transportation is as follows:
1. We will buy out Air Force One and modify it to have that drop platform like all other military planes.
2. We will buy the Bat mobile and rename it "Bat Mobile One".
3. We will have a pope mobile complete with bullet proof glass enclosure.
David Blane will be hired to help us escape during a crisis. Criss Angel will also be hired a the scapegoat/douche bag. People will hate him for being a douche bag, and forget about us.
Seth Rogan will be the official royal jester.
Christian Bale will be our driver.
Keifer Sutherland will be renamed "Jack Bauer" and be knighted as so. The ticking clock from "24" will be present during his knighting. He will be addressed as Sir Jack Bauer, and will be the head of our secret service.
Robert De Niro and Al Pacino will team up and run our mafia. Their goons will be Joe Pesci, Danny Devito, and Chris Rock for the "wimpy but tough" guy.
Jackie Chan and Jet Li will be our bodyguards. They will train ninjas for back up.
George W. Bush will be secretary of state, and the sacrifice to the terrorists. We will do the opposite of what Dubya says. Or we'll have Dubya team up with Osama to create the "Bush and Osama Comedy Hour".
Tom Hanks will be the head of foreign affairs, seeing as how he's had experience in "Cast Away". He will be teamed up with a Wilson volleyball, only Wilson's face will be made with peasant blood.
That's our decree, and we're sticking to it!
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