107

Hello Kitty, I love you but this has to be one of the funniest things you have ever said! "Bitchand fries?! What's a bitchand fries?"

106

I find it harder and hard to get over this situation of being placed back into last year's drama. Like "Kim" said, "there are some people in which it is necessary to let go, no matter how long you've known them." True. I'm slowly weening myself away from those certain people.

On the positive front, things are looking up in the work force. John will hopefully start training me for the cake maker's position, I have an interview at Panera for a cashier position where the pay is higher, and I just took the test for a position in a government job. I passed the exam and my interview for Panera is on Monday. I won't hear back from the government until the end of March, so let's hope all is well. God willing, these jobs will help me pay my expenses and pay back my loan with enough saved.

Tomorrow is my hangout day with Manboy and Kim. Of course the family goes and ruins our plans with their "we're celebrating Kylie's birthday, be there!" And the "Be there" isn't an invite, it's a command. I'm sorry, but after a month of saying "we're not celebrating her birthday or celebrating anything until her first communion," don't expect any of us to drop our plans to accommodate yours. Kim and I are already trying to think of something to get out of this, while Manboy wants to go. I don't have the patience to be around Kylie, especially after a long day at school with not much sleep. Why doesn't she fall down the stairs again, and we'll all yell "Happy Birthday!" I'm sorry, but her fall down the stairs over the weekend was hilarious! It was karma getting her back for being such a pain in the ass! She was fighting with her mom and she starts running down the stairs and missed a step. She rolled down the stairs the entire way. My two uncles weren't much help, either. One was on his laptop and saw her fall. He starts yelling "OH! OH OH!" And starts raising his laptop like it's about to fall and he's trying to catch it. That same uncle starts asking her what's hurt while she's sitting on the floor wailing, and he goes "Tell me what's hurt? Your feelings?" I try to conceal my laughter, but mom slaps my arm. I look over at her, and she had a stifling laugh. I look behind her and another uncle is laughing. I look to the side and cover my mouth with my jacket so no one can see me laughing. Then he said, "Nobody ever rely on **insert name here**, because he'll save his laptop first before he saves you!" I had to hide my laughter again. We all planned out going out to dinner, so they said that someone should inform next door. I quickly volunteered and ran next door. I told Kim, and she was dying with laughter. She said, "That's what you get, bitch!" So we're scheming to get out of attending her last minute birthday party since they do this shit all the time. Cousin or not, if you tell me for a month that there's nothing going on and then change your mind the night before, don't expect me to be there! How do you know that I don't have anything else to do? Kim brought up the fact that she could have a date. Hello Kitty said that he talked to Kylie's mom, and she asked if Kim and I were going to attend. The options so far are:
1. Fake that we lost track of time
2. Show up for a few minutes to an hour and then dip
3. Just not show up period. Hey, we had plans already!

Hello Kitty says that we should make an appearance just to rescue him. We told him that there's no way he's going to escape with his mother right there. We still don't understand what his mother's problem with us is. You know there's something wrong when he has to do a jail break escape from his COUSIN'S HOUSE! Like I said, I have no patience to be around that brat. They're pulling another last minute thing, and honestly I don't think it's fair that they demand I reschedule plans just for them. When people ask them to do it, they throw a shit fit. My stance is that we just don't show up at all. It's always the usual, "Oh! What are you going to eat?" Um...let's see, it's been what? Five years? FIVE YEARS. I have no reason to show up. All we do is sit there. Then they'll find something to criticize you. Knowing Hello Kitty, everyone knows of my career changes. They'll find a way to nit pick about my career choices. Um, unless you want to give me a nice job being someone's secretary at your jobs, then shut up! I just now thought of this, but what if Kourtney decides to show up. I have absolutely no patience to hear her broken record bitching. Yup, I say we just not show up.

105

"There is far too much cruelty in the world, and despite the fact that this should no longer surprise me, somehow I never cease to be amazed at the depths to which we will sink."~M.M.

Why do I have a feeling this is about me? In fact, I KNOW this is about me. Yes, I'm cruel and heartless and a hateful bitch, but guess what? I'm just returning the favor! One thing that people don't know about me is that I've been living this bullshit my whole life. I know what it's like to have people stab you in the back, use and abuse you, etc. Don't expect me to be so quick to forgive someone after doing me wrong.

You can preach to me all you want to forgive and forget, but forgive me if I'm trying to be a first class sucker. You can say "ignoring" won't change anything, but it sure does help preventing confrontation. The options were to beat the shit out of him or ignore him. He's trying to reverse the roles by playing the victim. After months of not speaking, he decides that he wants to blow up my phone with calls and messages again. The birthday greeting was supposedly the "olive branch" that he was trying to extend. She thinks that I should tell him my stance on why I don't want to talk to him, even though he knows exactly why. She told me that she went over to his house to help with the dog, and she found the birthday card that I hand made for his birthday two years ago sitting on his desk. He's supposedly extremely hurt, and is trying to place the blame all on me. She tells me that it's the silence that scares him the most. Listen...are you listening? It's the sound of me not giving a damn.

Ignoring the problem may not be the best solution for everyone, but it's the best solution for me. Like I told everyone before the start of the new semester, I don't want any drama for this new year. All of this was literally so last year, and I'm done. SO stop rehashing everything from the past and move on with your lives!

104

I'm officially OLD. I still can't grasp the fact that I'm now 24 years old. Ever since yesterday morning, I've been suffering a "quarter life crisis." My nerves have calmed down considerably, but part of me is still freaking out. It's just that when I look around me, a lot of my friends are getting married, are engaged, some have children already...what do I have? I'm still single, still in school, and working a dead end job for the time being. Then I realized my situation and why I'm at where I'm at. Clearly I have trust issues and I am beyond jaded when it comes to guys. I've been hurt one too many times that finding "the one" will be a difficult task. Seeing as how Adrienne, Angel, and I have coined ourselves each as one of the Kardashian sisters, I can only hope that I can find "the one" like Khloe did, even though it was all in a month. I've opened myself up emotionally to a guy for once, and look where it got me. My walls have not only gone back up, but they are enforced with an alarm system and guard dogs. In fact, it's now a fortress! In the guy front, I have a feeling another friend is crushing on me, but I'm personally not feeling it. I don't really know him, he's a mutual friend of a friend and I've only hung out with him twice and saw him for three seconds on another occasion. I'm a dork and he's a dork, but he's way too much dork for me. School was something I wasn't ready for since the start of middle school. Now that I've found my niche, I have to remember that I'm now supporting myself through school with my parents helping out with whatever they can. I changed majors a few times, so of course that took a toll on my graduation status. I think I began freaking out, because I'm having that fear that all college students are having: finding a job after graduation. I've found some jobs that pay a lot of graphics and digital design, but I still have a lot to learn about photoshop, illustrator, and I still have to learn dream weaver. I know Trader Joe's pays at least $12-$15 an hour for an artist to draw the signs for the aisles. I know I'll be alright. We all have to start somewhere; Andy Warhol got started drawing and painting signs for grocery stores and magazine ad's. Jobs...I'm in college. I fall into every stereotype of working a crappy job. Of course people tell me that it'll all pay off in the end. I know it will. All of this thinking is what calmed my nerves. I'm now 24 years old. So far it's been a good year. I have a really good feeling about this year. I'll just have to see where life takes me.

My birthday itself was a lot of fun! Of course I was Filipino time fashionably late to my own party. I had a few set backs. My parents took me out to a late lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant, Guapos. We went grocery shopping after, and then I had to clean up the house a bit. My parents went to shop for a new rice cooker and take my dad's friend to the metro, and I was going to take his truck. Since my body couldn't handle shoveling anymore, the snow on the edge of the driveway held the truck hostage. I had to wait 20 minutes for my parents to come back so my dad can work his driving magic, and get the truck out of the driveway. On a happy note while being stuck at home, my "Carry you There" scarf came in the mail! I was so happy that I had to wear it right away. From there I had to get Tommy and Angel, and we were stuck in traffic on 95 South into 495 West. We made a pit stop at Target to kill time and get Angel some pain killers. Plus she was feeling nauseous because of some dieting stuff she's taking. We had to pick up Jenny and she just got out of rehearsal, so I was giving her some time to get ready. I was two hours late, and of course Isaac, Paola, and Jess were already at Rio. Isaac knows about Filipino time, because he grew up with a lot of Filipino friends. Turtle and Malwina got there about 10 minutes after we parked. Megan got there 20 minutes later. The Amazing Art place was fun! I immediately had my mind set on painting a tea pot for our Alice in Wonderland opening night Back Row tea party. The tea pot will be strictly ornamental that night, since I'm dressing up as the Mad Hatter. The design is very simple, because I wanted it that way. It didn't turn out the way I had imagined it, but I like it just the same. I gave out some Anti-Valentines day stuff. I got those giant hershey kisses for the cousins and a box of Hello Kitty candy bracelets for Tommy. Angel and I have started calling him "Hello Kitty" an Russell; he looks like Russell from "Up." The entire night the three of us were wearing the Hello Kitty candy bracelets, and we even filmed a commercial for it HAHAHA! Jay didn't show up like she said she would, so I have two extra Hershey kisses for myself. Dinner was at California Pizza Kitchen, and it was really crazy. The girls went to the bar while we waited for our table, and they offered for me to join them. They were hoping that I would give up my straight edge and have a drink. Sorry! They did toast me from the bar, though, so it was cool. When we got our table Jess tried to trick me for a sip of my raspberry lemonade. She was drinking a long island (I think), and offered me a sip for a sip of my lemonade. I told her she can just have a sip for free, I'm not falling for it. Mike, Angel's boyfriend, met up with us at CPK and joined us for dinner. Megan sat there observing how my cousins and I interacted, and said that this explains the craziness that is me. She was so entertained and amused by how crazy we are. It was time for the cake and I knew Tommy was going to pull something. Megan got Twilight plates for the occasion, and I got to choose who I wanted for my plate. Pfft, Team Edward of course! I blew out the candles, and Tommy attacked with icing. I took a handful and got him back. Megan also told me to remind her to tell me the back story about the cake as soon as I cut it. It was a rainbow cake, and the colors made me think of Andy Warhol. It was originally supposed to be a soup can, but time wasn't agreeable. Megan said that she came across the recipe on Stumbleupon (OH stumbleupon!) and the description said that it was perfect for birthdays, mom's birthday's mothers day, coming out to your parents, coming out to your parents on your mom's birthday, coming out to your mom on mothers day, etc. I told Tommy to get his flip camera ready and asked Paola to take a picture. I took a finger full of icing and told Angel to pose with us. I tagged her with icing at the count of three. We stayed until closing time, and parted ways from there. It was a simple, low key birthday and it was a lot of fun. Although the ceramics painting place is a bit pricey, the tea pot was about $48, it was something that everyone enjoyed. Tommy, Angel, and I are trying to plan another hang out in two weeks since Tommy's parents were being....ugh...and were scowling about how late he was. I told him that I was unaware that he had a curfew, and he told me that he had no idea, either. So whatever, we'll hang out again. They were pretty irritated that they couldn't go to Guapos. I text Tommy while we were waiting for our food, and he was blown. He told Angel in the car, and she had the same reaction. So two weeks!

I celebrated Singles Awareness day at work with Eric and Joey. We ordered a pizza and dealt with couple after couple coming in. One lady tipped us twice after talking about our Singles Awareness plans after work that involved ice cream and a gory movie. I spent my night watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians instead of watching 500 Days of Summer like I had planned. For some reason I thought today was Monday, and I made plans to watch 500 Days of Summer for Singles Awareness with the girls. Oh well, I think I might do that tomorrow. The lady told me that I shouldn't do that to myself, it's torture. No, torture would be watching "Casino Night" over and over and over again. Torture would be watching this particular clip over and over and over again:



Sigh. Oh Jim. WHY CAN'T YOU BE REAL?! So yup. Happy Singles Awareness Day!

103

http://tavi-thenewgirlintown.blogspot.com/

Read and be enlightened. This little girl is one of my newest heroes. She reminds me of myself around that age, even up until now to be honest. She wears what she wants and is unapologetic for her look. If only people of the world and be like her, we wouldn't have anymore situations like this:

I love the choice of music in that video hahaha.

Skimming though her blog made me realize that I've been wasting so much space here. I initially created this blog as release for what I observe through my point of view, and I had in the beginning. Needless to say that it got me into a lot of trouble, but you can't say that I didn't warn you. You can't change a person's observation, it's what they see and it's just being reported back "verbatim," so to speak. With it being my birthday coming on on Saturday, I feel like I should have full diplomatic immunity from here and now. LET IT BE KNOWN THAT FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, I PROMISE TO BE OBSERVANT, UNAPOLOGETIC, AND AS SARCASTIC AND DEADPAN AS I CAN BE! *Cheers and applauds*

I understand that nobody likes the truth, nobody can really handle the truth. But as human beings we'd like to think so, so I offer it to you as a service. Don't think of it as being trying to find a way to bash you, think of it as constructive criticism...coming out of Giselle's brain. Don't be surprised to read something that isn't to your liking, because you already know how I think. With that said, it's time for the new post.

Common sense

Common sense is a dead thought process. Since the dawn of time, mankind has lacked common sense. Obviously fire burns and it hurts, why try to touch it again? To give you a more recent example, the snowpocalypse of 2010. First I don't understand how people lack the basic essentials that are shovels, milk and bread. Every time I step foot in a grocery store, it's like it's the end of the world. People, the snowfall isn't going to last 40 days and 40 nights. You will be able to get out of your homes within a day or two. Unless you live with a pack of wolves then you should be alright.

Shovels. Every home has at least 3 snow shovels. Don't tell me that you don't, you know you do. I can understand the lack of salt, people do use a lot. Recently there has been a lot of wear and tear in the snow shovels, but come on. My mom happens to work at a hardware store, and every time snow is in the broadcast people panic. In the words of my mother, "Shovels don't wait for you. If you're in a panic for them and we tell you when the shipment comes in, you better get to the store now! Otherwise, oh well!"

Getting stranded. IT'S A SNOW STORM! You know you're setting yourself up if you decide that it's a great idea to go out while the snow is falling. Don't bitch and complain to me if you're stranded at your friend's house due to the 2 feet of snow that's blocking you in. Suck it up and wait it out. When the opportunity comes for you to go home, don't pass it up! I'd much rather go to work with how many bags of clothes, and have my dad pick me up from work than be arrested for homicide. Seriously, do you honestly need to ask what my opinion is on risking freedom from friendship, or taking the chance of another night and killing the person in their sleep?

Changing the subject: my birfday! This calls for a letter.

Dear Anonymous,

This is being addressed to a group of people. Someone tried to be coy, and sent my dad a text message asking him what the plans are for my birthday. Too bad it was sent while I was in the car with him, and he didn't have his reading glasses with him. Guess who had to read it? You all should know that if my family hasn't contacted you at least two weeks in advanced, there are no plans. Me thinks that there hath been some eavesdropping involved. Understand that these people are like the Washington Post; one person hears something, everyone else will know in the next five minutes. The reason for this letter and the impending bitterness? Allow me to explain. Before I go any further, this letter does not include my parents. They always take care of me (^_^).

The past couple of birthdays have been spent in disappointment. After my 20th birthday, it went down hill. My 21st, I had plans to go to a friend's show and spend it having a great time. What happened? My family hijacks me at the very last second, literally, and diverts my plans. I was considerably upset because I've had these plans for weeks! They had "celebrated" the weekend before, and took me to a barbecue place. Did I mention that I'm a vegetarian? Thanks, assholes. They told the waitress that it's my birthday, so they brought out this small sundae with the birthday candle. As soon as I blew out the candle, EVERYONE attacks my ice cream. I sit there in even more disgust and anger while someone asks me if I would like some ice cream. I look down, and there's nothing left. My 22nd birthday was spent doing nothing. My friends took care of me and I had a great time at karaoke. My 23rd birthday involved an impromptu tea party at my house directly after class. It was a very small get together, and the night turned interesting when a box of wine emerged. It was another situation where I saw my family the next day or two days later. Guess what? Yeah, it was as if I didn't have a birthday. The birthdays following mine were a spectacle. *Nods* I want to say "unbelievable," but it's not the correct word choice. Sadly enough it is believable. This birthday I plan to take care of myself. I invited some friends and my cousins to dinner and some generic art making. We're all poor college students, and it'll be a Saturday night. In the midst of planning I think someone leaked my plans of dinner and generic ceramics painting, only to admit that they may no be invited. Honestly I hope it's clear that you're not invited, if I wanted you to come I would've told you. I've learned that I don't want anything from you all, and this realization isn't due to disappointed birthdays past. This has to do with the fact that I was treated badly in the past over various things. Especially when my education was involved, you all really showed me your true colors. The censorship thing is something to be expected, I'm an artist. Many people will try to censor me. It's something I need to get used to.

I don't want people to see this as turning my back on these group of people, but if you know them the way that I do, you wouldn't blame me. If they do you any sort of favor, birthday celebration, help you out with school, etc, they expect some form of payback. And they expect it back in tenfold.

To make things clear, you're not invited. There are no plans. Don't ask my parents at the very last second what the deal is, and to make me change my plans to accommodate you all. I've had these plans for a month, and it's not fair to ask people to change their schedules because you feel the need to be included. Frankly I don't think it's fair that my parents are stuck with a $400 tab, because you all feel the need to raid the bar and order the most expensive things on the menu. I invited my cousins only, because I knew that they were the only ones who would take care of me other than my parents. If I wanted to be criticized about how much of a screw up I am, I could read my old journals. I don't want anything from you, you're not invited, stop badgering my parents.

Love,
Me

102

Snowpocalypse, snomg!!! Snomore!

Okay, enough with the witty snow references. Honestly, this snowpocalypse is beginning to piss me off. I though I would never say this, but I'm getting tired of the snow. I think it's due to the endless shoveling that is required. The good news is that I haven't had classes all week, so happy birthday to me!

Lately I've been catching up with some friends I haven't spoken to in a while. I just finished talking to Jenny from middle school, and we caught up for a while. She's in Detroit now, but plans on moving back to MD because it's not exactly where she envisions herself. I remember she went to MICA, and I assumed that she graduated from there, but she confessed that she only lasted 2 years there. She told me that MICA does have it's ups and downs, and that it's back to back studio classes. That's something I'm used to so it's not a big deal, but she did say that it was a "really out there school." I've heard that from a lot of people, and for those who don't know, "really out there" can be a bad thing. Yes you can find artist context in everything, but filming yourself masterbating and presenting it for a project is just wow. Now my artistic side is kicking in and I'm about to internally start arguing about how pornography can be viewed as a form of art. ANYWAYS...she told me that the tuition itself was $38,000 without supplies and food. So again, it's $50,000. Even though I find myself being depressed at times for not being where I think I should be, I feel like I'm not missing out on anything. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I hate Baltimore with a fiery passion. If I had gone to MICA, that would require me to go in to Baltimore everyday. The most time I've spent downtown lately was at Penn station waiting for the shuttle to take me to Towson. She also told me that she's planning on studying law and paralegal stuff, but at the moment she's playing mommy to her 16 month old twin boys. I honestly didn't see her becoming a mom this early, and she told me that. She said that a lot of people didn't see this coming. As shocking as it was to read that she's now a mommy, reality has hit me once again. Friends are getting engaged, married, having children, etc. I'm nowhere near ready to walk down that road yet, but still. One day I'll get to that point, but not now.