86

Seeing as how it's the end of the semester and the end of the year, I feel like it's time for my not so friendly revelations/advice. I'm not going to sugar coat this, the truth isn't sweet and neither is my advice. "People talk, it's human nature" is the phrase of the blog. Like Greg Behrendt's "He's just not that into you," this will be my key phrase. Now repeat after me, "People talk, it's human nature." Good!

Drama is the word best describing this past semester. And there was lots of it. Gossip could be another word, but drama is still the best.

ADVICE #1:

Here's something that I've learned over the years from personal experience: people talk. It's something we all do, and for someone to say that they don't like gossip is pure shenanigans! Don't give me that crap, you've said at least 10 bad things about people before. And when you hear the whispering an snickering around the water cooler, you know you can't help but inquire on the topic being discussed. The key is determining whether it's gossip or constructive criticism. Either way, it'll hurt. No one ever said it was going to be easy, and if people were trying to soften the blow for you then they are doing YOU an injustice. You need to learn to toughen up yourself. Not everything in life will be easy and handed to you. Step one is to listen. When I say listen, don't jump to crazy conclusions that people are out to get you. Listen to what the people are saying, maybe you can find some good out of the "hurtful" things they are/were saying about you. Sometimes things are said with good intentions, even if the delivery wasn't ideal. Take a look at your life, and see how the negative comments apply to you. Like the old adage goes, the truth hurts. It's up to you whether or not you want to take the criticisms to better your life, or continue being blind and miserable. The choice is yours.

ADVICE #2:

Learn to have a sense of humor about yourself! People are naturally racist and prejudice in a tiny way, and we all have jokes. Before I continue, don't tell me that you're not because you know what I'm about to say! SHENANIGANS!!! Learn to take a negative comment and run with it. This will not only end gossip, but it will give you cool points. Get the stick out of your ass and learn to laugh at yourself.

ADVICE #3:

When you find yourself in a confrontation of some sort, stop running away with your tail between your legs! Remove yourself from your state of delusion, and freakin stand up. Even if things get physical, learn to deal with it! I took on a guy who is 6'5" in tech (shop) class in high school. I'm 5' 1 1/2" for crying out loud! I kicked his ass without a second thought. I could have ran to my dad and hid behind his back, but I learned that these things will happen. People need to learn how to handle shit when it's handed to them, you can't hide behind mommy or daddy for the rest of your life. Grow up and learn how to stand up for yourself, grow a pair, whatever! Don't assume that the problem will magically go away. Confront it, it may not end exactly the way you envisioned it, but that's something for you and the others involved to work out.

ADVICE #4:

This is a spin off of advice #1. When things are being said about you, don't automatically jump to your defenses. My dad once told me this, and I found it to be true, "no matter what's being said about you, good or bad, only you and you alone know who YOU are." I've had numerous things said about me in the past, and yes I will admit that it did hurt me. I will also admit that I did let it get to me, I'm Filipino, it's what we do. One little thing can and will blow up into World War III. Over the years and countless talks with my dad, I learned that people will always talk** Someone could say that you're gay, worthless, stupid, weird, a monster, bitch, asshole, etc. Deep down YOU know who YOU are, and only you know the truth. You don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. If you let yourself get caught up in the hype, when you experience that downfall you can only thank yourself. No one told you to listen.

ADVICE#5:

You know who your friends are, and you should know them well. When vicious rumors are floating around like high school gossip, "I heard from her cousin, who's best friends with his girlfriend, who knows the captain of the football team that she's been saying shit about you behind your back." Really? Wouldn't you think it'll be more rational to confront the person, before you automatically label them a bitch? ESPECIALLY when you've been friends for years? The benefit of the doubt is a good thing. You should know better. There's a huge difference from talking shit and stating the obvious. Also, check your sources before you jump to crazy conclusions.

ADVICE #6:

Being an asshole won't change your situation, again I learned that myself. Doing things to bring guilt won't change the situation, either. Dwelling upon things that are not true, and making crazy accusations will only bring out the worst in everyone. Shit does happen, and there's no point in being a masochist and hurting yourself. Another thing, it's not fair to place that blame on anyone else. No one told you to do the things you did, you made the conscious decision to act upon your impulses.

ADVICE #7:

When someone tells you not to drag them into whatever personal problem you're having, LISTEN!!! A third party is not necessary, and don't drag other people into it just to think that you'll build an army of people who are on your side. In the end everyone will turn against you. Smothering others will also turn them against you. I'm just as stubborn as the next person, again a Filipino thing. But we also know when to back the fuck off!

ADVICE #8:

Think before you act and speak. I don't think I need to explain this, just really think about that first sentence.

People are vicious animals, it's survival of the fittest. This has been the hardest semester of my life thus far, and I'm ecstatic to see it pass. Experiencing all of the above first hand all at once was not something I would have ever wanted to experience. At the same time it's life, shit does happen. I've learned a lot of things this semester about myself that I never thought I was capable of, like being extremely vindictive for one. I'm already a very violent person, but this semester really pushed me to the limit. Listening to the piece of advice my dad gave me, I know who I am. I went through years of ridicule before I became comfortable in my own skin. Understand that I'm very crass, stubborn, and unapologetic as the next person. My mouth does get the best of me, but I don't run my mouth just for the sake of talking. When I talk, it's the God honest truth. Again the truth hurts. What other people say and what I reiterate is simply a quote. Once again, people talk and it's human nature. For a person to say that there should be no gossip anywhere is too much to ask for. You know it'll never happen, I know it'll never happen. As long as we're around, gossip will be too. Keep in mind that it's gossip, it's not always true. It's not set in stone. It's just a bad game of telephone. No one is forcing you to listen, you made to decision to. If you let it run your life, you have no one to blame but yourself. It's like reading something on the bathroom wall that's about you. Although it maybe in your face, you no is holding your head to the wall and making you read it. Be an adult and make the decision for yourself. If you know it's bad, then do yourself a favor and not read it. If you do decide to read it, then see the constructive points you can gather from it to make yourself better. And for God sakes learn to fight your battles!

















***Refer to advice #1