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Before I go into permanent finals hiatus, I thought I would stay true to url and write THREE, count 'em, THREE "Dear Anonymous..." letters. Note that this will be a long, so take your potty breaks now.

(1)

Dear Anonymous,

I know that there has been a ton of animosity between us the past few months, but understand what you did was a total mind fuck. Never in my life have I been treated as so, and I thought I've experienced the worst from rejection after rejection. I know that you were just going along with the advice of others, and not listening to what you think is best for you, but that's where you have to determine before you make a decision. You're a big boy, you can think for yourself. Do not take this next bit as an attack, but as a piece of advice. From my observations, you live your life based on what people direct you to do. You don't live life the way you feel like you should live. Just because someone suggests something that THEY feel may be good for you, doesn't mean it will be good for you in the long run. Learn to rationalize things before you act on impulse.

Another thing I've noticed is that you tend to lean towards the conventional way of life: graduate school, marry high school sweetheart, get a good job, start a family, house with the white picket fence, etc. News flash, that's not how life works. Conventional living is non-existent these days. Stop living that life of delusion and realize that this is not a '50's family sitcom. This is real life, and in real life people get crapped on. We all have dreams of the loving spouse, family, nice house, good job, the whole nine yards, but it takes more than graduating high school to achieve all that. More power to you if you were able to land your high school sweetheart, but in this case you weren't. Trying to hold on to her means you have no sense of adventure. You're afraid to step outside your comfort zone. Learn to be adventurous for a change, and do things differently. You need to learn that avant-garde and shocking can be a good thing.

Things have been said on your expense, but again, you really hurt me. One, you have no right to tell me what I'm saying is wrong, because it's my opinion. The last time I checked, I was entitled to it. Not to mention that now you know how I felt. You already know not to piss me off, we've had this discussion before. Just a word of advice, don't try to bullshit the next girl when you say that you're not ready for a relationship, and all of a sudden get a girlfriend. Be straight with her, and tell her there's someone else. You think what happened between us was bad? Just saying...
As bitchy as this may sound, this whole experience you've put me through really made me see my potential. You once told me that you always try to find the positives in any negative situation, so this will be mine. I no longer devalue myself like I used to. This is an experience that really made me stronger. Thank you, really. Again, don't take that the wrong way.

After much needed time to cool off, I'm over the anger. I don't know what your position is on this, but I say this in the most sincere manner: I wish you nothing but happiness. I wish you nothing but the best for you and the girlfriend. Seeing how the new year is upon us, I hope we can put these differences aside.

Sincerely,
Me

(2)

Dear Anonymous,

I know this has been a rough semester for you, it has been for all of us. It's been HELL! Something you need to learn how to do is listen. When someone tells you they need space, give it to them. This is a huge problem that you have. You're smothering and overbearing, and it's uncomfortable. Going through personal issues, and losing two friends through suicide doesn't constitute as greatest year ever. It sucks that you lost someone near and dear to you, but you need to understand and see why this happened. Remember that things happen for a reason, and hurting yourself won't change it. It'll only drive more people away, like me for example.

Recently we've had our little quarrel, and you're doing the same thing to me that you did to the other person; smother me. I can't believe you did what you did, and I'm still pissed off at you! Trying to place the blame on me for "starting shit" that had nothing to do with me. You're paranoid and took what I told you out of context. I said that you have nothing to worry about, especially if you claim to trust her. I merely stated the obvious and said that yes, our friend is always around. I also told you that none of this should matter to you anyways, because it's over. You two are no longer together. You need professional help. I can't believe you would go and tell one of my good friends that I've been talking shit about her behind her back. One, don't tell me to apologize to her for shit I didn't start, and two, stop trying act like all is well between us. Three, stop trying to tell me to love you, I freaking hate you right now. You think it's easy for someone to forgot this and act like all is well? You really couldn't have chosen a more perfect time to start shit.

One thing you need to realize is that the other person may not be ready to do the same things you're ready for. You can't force a person to do something against their will, just because you want them to. Don't expect a person to jump when you say so. Allow the person to experience life.

When I kept telling you to give her space, you didn't listen. Now that I've made the decision to stay away from you because I'm angry, you need to realize what the meaning of space. Stop calling me, stop texting me, stop messaging me on facebook, etc. I don't understand how it's so difficult for you do complete a simple request. You're too needy, and I told you time and time again that you need to be more self reliant. You told me that you are, but you're not. Being self reliant is learning to do and handle things yourself. Clearly you are incapable of doing so. Always waiting for someone to be there to hold your hand doesn't show a person that you've grown up. You're just a boy trapped in a man's body. If you "hating" me is what it takes for you to realize what an ass you are, then so be it. It still won't change the fact that I'm still pissed off at you for what YOU did. Just because you're miserable doesn't mean the rest of us have to be. Not to mention that I've told you in the beginning not to get me involved, I have enough problems of my own and this has nothing to do with me. Thanks to you, my friendship with this person is officially tainted. Even if things get cleared up, there's always going to be that possibility in the back of her mind of "what if?" You say that you think people are against you, that no one is on your side. It's not a matter of who's on who's side. It's about being mature. Acting like a sullen 13 year old will get you nowhere.

Whatever you decide to do to yourself now is all on you. I didn't tell you to be destructive, you made the choice. You need to learn to stop blaming others for your problems. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to you. You need to learn to be a man for once. I know it hurts, but deal with it especially when it comes to deaths. I've told you before that I've gone through the same things you are going through now, and that you need to learn that you have friends and family ready and willing to help you. The only deal is that you have to be willing to let them in.

Sincerely,
Me


(3)

Dear Anonymous,

What ever is going on between us deserves to be addressed. Why is it that I have to find out from another friend that you are pissed off at me? The night of the concert, I saw you on my way to get tea and I noticed that you were upset. I said "Hi" to you, and we had a small conversation. I figured it was the result of a bad day. Why couldn't you have pulled me aside and said that we needed to talk, rather than finding out from another friend that you're saying that I'm a bitch and I'm talking shit.

The entire night there was tension, and I'm sick and tired of always being the first to address the person. Finding out that there's supposedly problems between us was news to me! Let me point out that of all the years we've been friends, when have I ever talked shit about you? Especially behind your back? You know me better than that. If I had something to say, I would say it. Especially lately I've been telling you how it is. I know the truth to everything, and every confidential conversation we've had has been kept as such. I can understand your anger if I told everyone. I haven't, so there should be no reason for any of this mess.

I don't appreciate when my friends are going around calling me a bitch behind my back, when they won't even address the problem to my face. Next time why don't you confront me first before making an irrational assumptions. You're another person who knows not to piss me off, and I've told you how Filipinos can be: we can be your best friend or your greatest enemy. I haven't been talking to you, because I want you to come forward and ask me what's going on. I'm not trying to avoid you out of a guilty conscious, because I know I don't have one. Sorry if I'm stating what I physically see, I'm an artist. What more do you want? It's second nature for me to do so. I'm also incapable of lying. I know there hasn't been anything going on. Why would I make up such vicious rumors? Before you jump to crazy assumptions, check your resources and check yourself. You know me better than that. This isn't high school. Yes, people in the music building tend to talk, but this isn't something that's headlines for everyone to know. I'll leave it to you to tell who you feel like you could trust with your personal life. Next time you decide to call me a bitch behind my back, we're going to have bigger problems than the ones we supposedly have now.

Sincerely,
Me